Sunday, November 27, 2011

Let Us Give Thanks and Praise-

I feel as though I am fighting an internal war. My mind is a battlefield, defaced by the relentless onslaught of every day stresses. The simplest tasks now seem unfeasible. Even in sleep I am unable to rest, forever haunted by the mere thought of waking up. Another day, another battle. Who wins a war fought with oneself? I am succumbing to the pressure of the weight of the world. So crushing is its force. I asphyxiate on the very air I breathe.

An empty house. A feast of prescription pills and shame. A pain no sedative can dull. Happy Thanksgiving. I was once so alive, flowing with energy and motivation. Look at me now. Can you bear to see the wreck I have become, the mess you have made? Some acts are unforgivable. I have been so sympathetic until now. Tell me, stranger, can you smell the apathy on my breath as I can smell the liquor on yours? Repent to whichever god you please, but you shall never reconcile with me. I hope you choke on your guilt.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Dear DCF,

Knocking on the door in your tucked in dress shirts; where were you when I needed you? Making an appearance, just a little too late; for reasons unworthy of discussion. Take me away in your run down sedan; you cannot fix the damage that has been done. You couldn't spare the moments when the violence set in, why offer your time when the smoke has finally cleared? Expressing concern through those deep hollow eyes, searching my soul for what I will not say. You will find nothing; in your absence I have mastered the art of deceiving. Do you write of your guilt in your alphabetized files? Do you question yourself whilst interrogating me? Ask me why our eyes don't meet when our words are exchanged. Question my honesty; my imperceptibly counterfeit honesty.